The Way Back to Us Read online

  “You look so pretty!” Jules clapped her hands together. She’d been the first one of us ready. Somehow even on her wedding day she was breezy and carefree. “Now go! Get your dress on and then get back down here. We’ve got twenty-five minutes and counting.” She paced over to the window, the small train to her dress following behind her. Pulling back the edge of the curtain, she peeked outside. She sighed. “I can barely see anything. You guys really won’t tell me what you have planned out there?”

  Rachel mimed zipping her lips and throwing away the key.

  Bianca pursed her lips. “I hope you don’t think you’re getting any secrets out of me.”

  “Dani,” she wheedled. “You’re not going to keep secrets from me on my wedding day, are you?”

  “Oh, sorry.” I pointed to the imaginary watch on my wrist. “I’m running out of time, I’ve gotta get dressed.” Halfway out the door, I paused and turned back to her. “But for what it’s worth, it is storybook perfect out there. I promise.”

  I left a beaming Juliet downstairs as I hustled up the staircase to slip my dress on. The dress I’d managed to afford from the consignment shop wasn’t anything more than a simple black dress. It’d stand out like a sore thumb in the midst of all these gorgeous gowns, but I was trying really hard not to care. What mattered is that I was here. The only thing that really sucked about today was that I’d only gotten to see Gavin in passing. Our last day together and in the end I’d only get a few hours with him.

  It had to be enough.

  I skidded to a halt at the entrance to our room, more than a little bit surprised to find Gavin gazing out the window, one hand on his hip, the other resting against the windowpane. “What’re you doing here? Shouldn’t you be escorting guests to their seats or something by now?”

  He spun at the sound of my voice, his smile breathtaking. Well, it was more than just his smile. In that tailored tux, a bowtie around his neck, he was heartbreakingly handsome. It was hard to believe he was actually mine. At least for the next few hours, anyway.

  “I wanted to give you something before the wedding.” He tilted his head to the side and gave me a crooked smile. “Actually it’s two things, but they kind of go together.” He bent down on one knee and produced a white box with a black ribbon from underneath the bed and sat it on the bed.

  He held up his hand. “Now before you give me any grief about it, just consider this an early Christmas present. Or an extension of your birthday present. Either or.”

  I fingered the bow. “What is it?”

  His hand stilled mine. “Well, silly, you’re going to have to open it to find out.”

  I tugged the end of the bow and it came free. Wedging a fingernail between the box’s lid, I wiggled it free. Inside, resting on a delicate mound of tissue paper was a neatly folded navy dress.

  I ran a fingertip over the bodice; the fabric thicker than silk but just as soft. “You didn’t have to do this, Gav.”

  “Didn’t have to.” He shrugged. “Wanted to.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, black velvet box. “It’s not what you think, so please don’t panic.” He cracked the lid, revealing a delicate-looking box chain. “I thought this might be a little sturdier than the cord you’ve got the penny on now.”

  I slipped the black cord from my neck and let Gavin restring the penny on the new chain. His fingertips coasted over the back of my neck as he fastened the necklace on me.

  I pressed the penny to my chest. “It’s perfect, Gavin. I’d kiss you, but I’m wearing lipstick.”

  “I’ll risk it.” His lips captured mine in a kiss that made my knees weak. He caressed the length of my jaw with the backs of his knuckles. “You better get ready before I get us both in trouble.” Another quick kiss and he was on his way.

  The door cracked back open and he stuck his head through the opening. “I lied, there’s also shoes under the bed.” He grinned at me and then the door clicked closed again.

  A smile curved my lips while I slipped into my new dress and heels. There weren’t any frills or ruffles, no beads or crystals, but the lines of the dress were elegant and flattering. The neckline scooped low, the skirt tightening around my knees before flaring to the floor. Thick straps crossed over my shoulder blades and then again down lower, leaving the majority of my back bare.

  When I looked in the mirror, I barely recognized myself. Not because of the dress—the makeup and hair and dress were a change for sure, but I was still me—but because of the look on my face. I’d never even come close to being this happy before.

  I clutched the feeling to me like it was something I could hold, I could wrap, I could drape over my shoulders and snuggle into. I wanted to remember it, I needed to remember what I felt like, when I did what I had to do tonight.

  My steps were cautious as I made it back to the first floor. I’d worn heels before but rarely. The last thing anyone needed was for me to take a tumble and interrupt the wedding with a quick trip to the ER to fix my broken face.

  I waved to Jules and the rest of the girls on my way out the door, slipping quietly through the French doors and out onto the deck. The night air was balmy, a host of fireflies flickering in the darkness. Down the steps, I swept aside a curtain of flowers and made my way into the custom built, oversized pergola Annabelle had commissioned for the ceremony.

  The long, rectangular structure was wrapped entirely in flower ropes—around the beams that stretched overhead, down the support beams on either side. Looking up, only slivers of the star-speckled sky peeked through. A white runner ran down the middle as the aisle, mason jars with floating candles marking each set of custom wooden benches on either side of it.

  It was hard to imagine that all of this had come together in a week. The scene looked like it had been plucked straight from a fairytale. And this was only the ceremony site.

  I settled into my seat, squeezing in at the end of one of the almost full benches. There were people everywhere, the air abuzz with their voices. I didn’t recognize any of them other than the guys standing at the front and Daphne slightly off to the side with the other musicians.

  It wasn’t long before the music started, some classically beautiful number that Daphne and her fellow instrumentalists had mastered. Bianca was first down the aisle, an absolute vision in her champagne dress. Rachel was next, equally beautiful, her cheeks pink with color, fingers clutched tight around her bouquet.

  Elle was the last of the bridesmaids, Gavin slowly but steadily pushing her down the aisle in her wheelchair. Her gaze soaked everything in, her attention rapt. He bent to whisper something in her ear and she smiled.

  The music changed and then it was Jules’s turn. She appeared through the curtain of flowers on her father’s arm, eyes shining, heart worn on her sleeve for everyone to see. She took in everything in one quick glance and then her eyes found Felix’s and never strayed.

  Her wedding dress was absolutely stunning. White as snow and tight to her body, it fell in one smooth layer from her shoulder to the floor, the tiniest of trains puddling at her feet. It was as classic as she was, with only a slit on one side where her slim leg poked through as she walked, a pair of glittering stilettos on her feet.

  Felix was resplendent in his tuxedo, his eyes only for Jules. He shifted a little on his crutches when she made it to him, his lips moving but his words only for her. I watched the ceremony with tears in my eyes—happiness for them and a soul-crushing grief for Gavin and me.

  When the two were pronounced husband and wife, Jules wrapped her hands around Felix’s neck and kissed him like she didn’t care who was watching. Cameras flashed, the crowd cheered, and tears ran down my cheeks.

  Behind the bride and groom, Ben parted and tied back the other curtain of flowers, revealing everything else Anabelle had put together. A gravel pathway led to a massive dancefloor and everywhere you looked there were trees dripping with twinkling lights. They crisscrossed in the air above the dance floor, making the night air sparkle.

&
nbsp; Spreading out from the dance floor were round tables as far as the eye could see, weighed down by massive flower bouquets and flickering candles. Juliet’s eyes glistened as she took it all in, her head resting against Felix’s shoulder.

  “It looks like a night strung together with wishes and dreams,” a voice whispered in my ear.

  I twined my fingers through Gavin’s. “A beautiful, magical dream.”

  “Don’t forget the wishes.” From God knows where, he handed me a dandelion puff. “You should make one.”

  I gazed at it sadly. “Is it bad form to make a wish you know can’t come true?”

  He dropped a kiss on my shoulder. “Tonight, I think anything is possible.”

  I let my eyes drift closed, wishing for the one thing I knew I could never have: Gavin. My breath was a steady stream from between parted lips and the little dandelion seeds spun off into the air until there was nothing but a sad stem left behind.

  “Come on.” Gavin gave my hand a tug. “We can’t miss their first dance.”

  Gravel crunched beneath my heels as we made our way to the dance floor. The happy couple was already in the middle of the dance floor, Felix standing uneasily on his crutches. The music started and Juliet wrapped her arms around his neck, pressed her cheek to his, and swayed gently from side to side.

  I leaned back against Gavin and his hand slipped around my waist.

  “What song is this?” I asked.

  “‘Perfect for Me’ by Ron Pope.” I felt his smile even though I couldn’t see it. “Jules is a fan of semi-obscure artists. I tried to get her to go with a song by The Downfall, but she nixed that idea.”

  I rolled my eyes. “You guys don’t have any love songs.”

  “That’s what you think.”

  My eyebrows knitted together as I glanced back at him. “I’ve listened to every single one of your songs.”

  “Not all of them.” His smile overtook his face. “But we’ll get to that.”

  The two of us swayed together until the last notes of the song faded. Then we were off again, this time to a photo booth as fairytale-esque as the rest of the decorations. We smiled, made faces, and before the last flash of the camera, I melted into his kiss.

  There was food until my stomach groaned, dancing until my feet went numb, and smiling, so much smiling, so that later my cheeks ached with the echo of it.

  Hours later, with Gavin’s hands on my back, his heartbeat strong against my cheek, we danced under the moonlight with the stars shining bright above. He’d been right before, the entire night was nothing but fragile dreams and impossible wishes. The seconds were passing too quickly when all I wanted was to desperately hang on to every one.

  “Alright, ladies and gentleman,” a voice boomed through the speakers. “We’re down to the last song of the night, so find that special lady or gentleman and get out there.”

  The first few notes poured through the speakers and Gavin spun me, just a quick tight circle, and then I was back in his arms again. My heart was a frantic thing inside my chest, all quick, breathless beats.

  I tilted my head back to look at him and I couldn’t stop.

  “What?” He pinched his lips together. “Do I have something in my teeth?”

  “No.” I twined my fingertips through the hair at the base of his neck. “It’s not that.”

  “Then what is it?” His mouth tipped in a lopsided smile.

  I took in a deep breath and then blew it out. “It’s just, I love you, and I thought you should know.”

  He went completely still, gaze sharpening. “What did you say?”

  “I love you, Gavin.” I swallowed through the lump in my throat, blinking quickly to try and fend off the tears that were threatening. “I’m sorry I’ve never said it before—”

  He crushed me to him and his kiss felt like everything I’d ever wanted. It was a dream come true and a heartbreak so exquisite I could barely breathe. The last, haunting notes bled through the speakers as my teardrops splattered the dancefloor.

  His forehead rested against mine, my face cupped between his palms. “Thank you for telling me.”

  I gave him a watery smile, fighting to keep it there when what I really wanted to do was breakdown at his feet and sob my heart out. Instead, I sniffed and forced my voice to steady. “Have you seen my purse anywhere? It’s been awhile since I’ve checked my phone.”

  “It’s at the table, one sec, I’ll grab it for you.” He kissed me again before he trotted off to get it. Slowly, placing one foot in front of the other, I picked my way back down the gravel pathway. He caught up to me a few seconds later and handed me my purse.

  I fished my phone out of it, pretended to read a message that wasn’t there.

  “What is it?” He asked, bumping my shoulder.

  I bit my lip, forcing out the lie. “It’s . . .” His gaze met mine, so trusting. I scrunched my eyes closed. “I’ve gotta go.”

  “Now?” He scratched a hand through his hair. “It’s the middle of the night. Can’t it wait till morning?”

  “I know, but I have to. I’m sorry.” He had no way to know that I was apologizing for something else entirely. Realistically, I didn’t need to leave until the morning, but tonight was my best chance for a clean break. My heart was already torn into pathetic confetti, I wasn’t sure I could wake up in his arms tomorrow morning and still have the strength to leave.

  “I can drive you back,” he offered.

  “I’ll be fine.” I gestured around me. “Besides, you don’t want to miss the after party. And I’m sure they’ll be looking for you in the morning.”

  His lips twisted to the side as he considered my argument. “Fine. But you’re going to text me as soon as you get home so I know you made it there safely.”

  “Of course.”

  “Give me just a second. I’ll grab your bag from the house and meet you at the Jeep.”

  I nodded and watched until he disappeared into the crowd of lingering people. The minute he was out of sight, my face crumpled and I had to fight to get control of it again. Not much longer, just a handful of minutes to make it through convincingly.

  The barest hint of light emanated from the streetlight above the Jeep. Here, I could barely make out the sounds from the backyard. Cicadas drowned them out with their song of summer nights.

  Gavin jogged up next to me, my bag in his hand. “Here you go. There’s a little something special in here for you.” He patted the flimsy material. “I don’t want to hear any complaints about it.”

  “Not a word,” I promised.

  He tossed the bag into the backseat. “You’ll call the minute you walk through the door.”

  “The very second.”

  He wrapped a strand of my hair around his finger. “Say it again.”

  “I love you.” I rocked up onto the balls of my feet to kiss him one last time, memorizing the feel of his lips on mine. “Always,” I added quietly.

  “I love you too, Dani.”

  His smile nearly did me in, but I managed to trap my trembling lip between my teeth. He held the door for me while I climbed in, swapping out my heels for more sensible shoes to drive in.

  He backed away and waved as I made a quick U-turn in the street. I rolled down my window and stopped in front of the driveway. “Goodbye, Gav.”

  “Bye, Dani. Be safe.”

  Chapter 35: Gavin

  My bed creaked as I tried to roll over, my back aching like I’d spent the entire night sleeping on the ground. I forced my eyes open, squinting in the sunlight. Okay, so not the ground, but an incredibly uncomfortable lounge chair on the deck. I unstuck my face from the plastic and massaged my cheek. Underneath my fingertips I could feel an indentation in my skin.

  “Ugh.” I shoved myself to my feet and groaned, every muscle in my body protesting. This shit might have flown when I was in college, but I was not cut out to sleep in random places anymore. Even if I had given up my bed for a noble reason—Jules’s grandma had been too tired to mak
e it back to her hotel, so she’d crashed here.

  Scrubbing my hands across my face, I surveyed the wreckage of the backyard. It looked slightly less magical in the sunlight, but the memory of last night still lingered, magic infused in every second.

  Dani loved me. She’d said it. After all these years, she’d looked me in the eye and told me she loved me. My heart was still completely high on the feeling.

  Turning, I found another slumped figure curled into an awkward ball near the one I’d just vacated. I kicked it. “Get up, dickhead.”

  Ben tried to sit and ungracefully tumbled onto the deck with a heartfelt groan. “Oh my God, I can’t move.”

  I linked my fingers together and stretched my hands overhead. Man, this dress shirt needed to go. I’d lost my bowtie at some point, but between the shirt, suspenders, pants, socks, and shoes, I was incredibly overdressed. “Serves you right.”

  He got on his hands and knees so he could struggle to his feet. “Go suck a dick.”

  “Thanks, but I’ll pass.” I sniffed the air. Bacon, someone was making bacon.

  I left Old Man Ben on the deck and went in search of food and found nirvana in the kitchen. Praise be to the Mighty Cheesus, he who reigned over delicious food. There were fruit platters, toast, bagels, pancakes, bacon, sausage—literally every breakfast food I could imagine. And juices, pitchers of it. My gaze scanned the counter until I spotted what I was looking for. Coffee: sweet, sweet coffee.

  It took me a second to come back from my reverie and actually take in the people that were in the room. Daphne was pitching in by the stove, Bianca was carefully slicing fruit, Rachel was arranging pastries on a silver platter, and Jules, lovely Jules, was holding out a cup of coffee for me.

  “I love you,” I told her sincerely, taking a gulp of the steaming liquid.

  “Are you seriously hitting on my wife? We’ve only been married, like, less than twenty-four hours.”

  It took me a second to find Felix near the other end of the kitchen. “Well, I hit on her before you were married, so I’m not really sure why you think that would change.”